Sunday, December 18, 2011

My Husband's Holiday "Sparkle"

Holiday party season is in full effect. It's that time of year where we find ourselves toasting to something 31 days in a row, pretending calories don't count, and splurging on sequined clothing we'll never wear again. In an effort to keep our jobs secure throughout soiree season, many websites post articles that offer tips on what NOT to do at your office holiday party: don't get wasted, don't talk shit about co-workers, don't dress like a skanky female Santa, etc. But these articles don't tell you what to do, if at your company holiday party, your husband eats a festive cookie and ends up with an obscene amount of glitter all over his face and clothes before meeting any of your co-workers.

So, yeah. This happened to me last week.

Within five minutes of arriving at my office party, my husband reached for a cookie at the dessert station.  Unbeknownst to him, it was covered in approximately 14 tons of glitter. He took a bite. And as if in slow motion, I watched an explosion of shimmery particles burst into the air and land all over his face. Like any guy, he was solely focused on eating the cookie and had no idea what just occurred.

My expression turned to a look of horror. He frantically tried to wipe whatever it was that I was gawking at off of his face. But his hands were also covered in glitter. It was like watching a holiday train-wreck. He was just smearing more glitter all over his face. And as any gal who rocked body glitter back in the day knows, it does not easily wipe away. My first instinct was to ask him to just go home rather than introduce Ke$ha (formerly known as my husband), to my colleagues.

But in the spirit of the holidays, I let it go. My manly bundle of sparkle and I mingled throughout the party. I introduced him to my co-workers and we warned them about the the hidden dangers of the snowman cookies.

Happy holidays everyone! Keep your office party dates away from the dessert buffet. xo