Diary of a Mom in One Line a Day

Many moms have grand plans of chronicling the life of their new baby. But when your days are full of diaper changes, feedings, laundry, stroller walks, and sneaking in some "me" time, that baby journal easily gets overlooked.

Before my baby was born, a friend got me this great book, Mom's One Line a Day. Just like the title says, all you have to do is write one line to document that day. So, since it takes all of 12 seconds to jot down a one-liner, it's easy to keep up.

"Today you had your first bath. You hated every second of it and Mommy cried." 

"You met your great grandparents and went to your first happy hour at their hotel." 

"The Nap Nanny that you love to sleep in was recalled. Shit." 

"You did Tummy Time for 15 seconds. We took 45 pictures."

Good times.

Newborn 101

Guess what? I'm a mom!

Three weeks ago I gave birth to an adorable baby girl (OMG still in shock that this really happened). My husband and I are totally smitten. We've never spent so much time watching someone sleep (and taking pictures of her sleeping). But even though she spends most of the day snoozing, there's still a ton to learn, do, and Google ("newborn and weird breathing", "how many times should newborns poop?"...).

In the whirlwind of the past three weeks, here's what I've learned so far: (I'm not an expert and spend my days bewildered so take this with a grain of salt.)

They make weird noises when they sleep:
"Sleeping like a baby" has taken on a whole new meaning. A more accurate term would be "Sleeping like an 80 year old grandpa and/or barnyard animal." From grunts to snores, squeals to sighs... newborns are very busy, loud sleepers. According to our pediatrician this is normal and we don't need to hover over her crib to make sure she's breathing. But this means while she's sleeping, oftentimes we're not. In addition to the noises, sometimes she flails her arms around like she's doing baby Tae Bo. Billy Blanks would be proud.

They poop a LOT:
The amount of diapers and wipes we've gone through in just a few weeks is astounding. And this little lady is full of surprises. It's mind boggling that someone who is so sweet and tiny makes sounds comparable to gunfire when going #2. We literally thought someone got shot outside our house the other night. I've just realized that she's going to hate me when she's old enough to read this blog. And with that, I'll conclude the poop section.

They need a lot of seating/sleeping options:
The couch in our living room is now in the good company of a Lamb Swing, a Rock 'n Play, and a Nap Nanny. We spend most of our day moving her to different sleeping contraptions to see which "infant recliner" she will be happiest in.  Babies really have it made.

They eat a LOT:
Newborns need to eat 8-12 times a day. Much like her food-obsessed parents, our little gal has quite an appetite. I think she'll be a great brunch buddy once she moves onto solid foods. Feedings are when we spend our best quality time. During our morning feeding today, she agreed that Kathie Lee and Hoda need to lay off the booze. She also told me (via spitting up) that she's not a fan of the kimono style nightgowns we've been having her sleep in.

They can make your heart melt in an instant:
There's nothing like having a teeny, tiny newborn sleep on your chest while you hold them. Or seeing your husband read her The Belly Button book. Or listening to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star play from the mobile while she sleeps and puffs her lips out like a mini Angelina Jolie. Or wrapping her up in a swaddle and then scooping up that tiny baby burrito to rock her to sleep. I could go on and on...

Newborns are just too damn cute. Sigh.  :)

Frankenstorm Food Shopping Essentials

The last time I went food shopping for a hurricane, I ended up with six blocks of cheese, cheese doodles, a salami, a case of wine and pretty much one of everything from the cracker aisle. This spread was more suited for a party than a natural disaster, but at least we had flashlights and candles, right?

Luckily, Hurricane Irene turned out to just be a really good excuse to eat an exorbitant amount of cheese and watch enough SVU marathons to be qualified as an NYPD detective. But apparently, Frankenstorm will be an entirely different story. According to the interwebs, people are fighting over boxes of elbow pasta in supermarket aisles and there's one loaf of bread left in the state of New Jersey.

So, yesterday, we went food shopping to stock up on some essentials. (There are still a few similarities to last year in the cheese department.) If you have yet to brave your local grocery store, this list may come in handy should Sandy join for dinner...

• A block (or four) of hard cheese
• Crackers and/or chips - I'm obsessed with Trader Joe's Multigrain Pita Bite Crackers.
• Apples, bananas, oranges, dried fruit (any produce that can handle not being refrigerated) 
• Trail Mix 
• Peanut Butter
• Jelly
• Bread
• Cookies (I'm baking a massive batch of these Pumpkin Chocolate Chip favorites). 
• Granola bars and/or protein bars 
• Candles, lighters, flashlights 
• Bottled Water
• Wine (I can't partake this year because I'm preggers, but please have a glass or bottle for me.)

This list is lacking very important safety items. So, check out credible news websites for guidance on stocking up on the right stuff. Stay safe!

What are your hurricane food faves?

The Cookie Incident

Sometimes a gal that's nine months pregnant just needs to eat a cookie as big as her face. To satisfy my sweet-tooth, I waddled myself over to Potbelly for my late afternoon "feeding". As I was carefully selecting the perfect oatmeal chocolate chip cookie, I heard a voice behind me....

"You should try the mini chocolate cherry cookies."

I politely smiled at this man in line as he peered over my shoulder and pointed to a bag of two much smaller cookies. For a hot second, I toyed with the idea of downsizing my snack. I guess I didn't really need the big cookie... did I? I commend Potbelly for offering smaller portion sizes. But today, I didn't feel like making a good decision.

As if he knew my inner dilemma, he nodded towards my oatmeal monstrosity and said, "Get the smaller ones."

GET THE SMALLER ONES? And that my friends, is when Hungry Pregnant Woman Rage (HPWR) kicked in. Talk to me when you have to schlep around something the size of a watermelon 24/7. I'll eat a cookie the size of a Buick if I want to, asshat. I'm aware that I look like an elephant seal in leggings and an ill-fitting cardigan. By 4pm everyday, I truly feel like the one on the left:

Luckily, I kept my composure, bought my snack, and went on my way. But if that dude ever has a pregnant wife, he'll be sleeping in the garage in no time. 

Purse Organization 101

Oversized purses make a big style statement. But they can also make finding what you’re looking for a huge pain. So how can you minimize the clutter and make the most of that fab bag?

Tip 1: Start Off With a Clean Slate

Plop down and dump out the contents of your purse. In the debris of receipts, loose change, and to-do lists that somehow transformed themselves into intricate origami birds, you’ll be reunited with your favorite lip gloss and perhaps some crumpled cash. Then, make a trash pile and toss coins in your wallet. Determine what to keep in your purse and figure out another place to put the non-essentials.

Tip 2: Designate Pocket Space

There’s nothing worse than digging around for your keys or cell when you desperately need them. Start using those 12 different little compartments in a productive way. And please, put the gum somewhere that it can’t get loose! How many times have you peeled melted gum off of your phone? Gross.

Tip 3: Rubber Band It

So, the 14 ponytail holders you found when you dumped out your purse? Put ‘em to work as a tie for loose pens. Keeping your pens fastened up prevents them from going rogue and ruining the lovely lining of your bag.

Tip 4: Store It

From dental floss to lip gloss, hand sanitizer to hand lotion, there are lots of little on-the-go-essentials us gals can’t live without. So, whether you want to invest in fancy cosmetic cases or use a plain old Ziploc bag, just use something to keep beauty and miscellaneous products organized and prevent leaks. This way, if you do switch bags often, it’s simple to transfer items from one to another. Clear or mesh mini-bags make it easier to spot your goods.

In the market for some super cute cases? Check out these Metallic Micro Mesh Cases from The Container Store. They’re only $6.99 each! Or how about this tribal print double zip clutch from Sonia Kashuk?

 If you’re looking to splurge, snatch up this funky, patterned style from Kate Spade.

Tip 5: Color Code It 

You’re much too young to be carrying around a flashlight to read restaurant menus. (But wouldn’t that come in handy when you’re searching around in your dark, cavernous tote?) Instead of resorting to a headlamp to find the cash to pay for your morning coffee, buy a wallet that’s a bright color, rather than basic black. You’ll never have a hard time spotting it if it’s hot pink or bright yellow. You can even color code your little purse pouches!

Tip 6: Clean It
Not to gross you out … but according to Everyday Health, our purses harbor some pretty nasty bacteria, both outside and inside. That’s not surprising when you think about all the places your beloved bag travels: floors, counters, office bathrooms, and public transportation just to name a few. Experts recommend wiping everything down regularly (even your phone) with a cloth or moist disposable towelette. Keep tissues and other items that come in direct contact with your body in their own tightly sealed containers or bags. Anyone else feel like bathing in hand sanitizer right about now?

This article was written for WEtv.com. Check it out here!

Share your purse org tips and leave a comment below!

Chili Chicken Taco Night

There's nothing like uncovering a Crate & Barrel gift card from your wedding three years ago and using it to buy something totally random and awesome ... a slow cooker. Also known as a crock pot, this counter top contraption cooks food at a low temperature for a long time. Sidenote: I absolutely hate touching raw meat. And with the slow cooker, all I have to do is dump it in there, put the lid on and pray my house doesn't burn down while it's cooking.

If you have a crock pot, try this Martha Stewart recipe (listed below). It calls for chicken thighs, but I used chicken breasts. I also went with soft taco shells and added sliced avocado.

marthastewart.com

Ingredients:

• 2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken thighs (about 6)
• 4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
• 1/2 cup prepared tomato salsa, plus more for serving (optional)
• 1 to 2 tablespoons chopped canned chipotle chiles in adobo
• 1 tablespoon chili powder
• Coarse salt and ground pepper
• 8 hard corn taco shells
• Cilantro, shredded cheese, lime wedges, and sour cream, for serving (optional)

Directions

1. In slow cooker, combine chicken, garlic, salsa, chiles, chili powder, 1 teaspoon salt, and teaspoon pepper. Cover; cook on high, 4 hours (or on low, 8 hours).
2. Transfer chicken to a serving bowl, and shred, using two forks; moisten with cooking juices. Serve in taco shells, with toppings, if desired.

Oven method: 
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In step 1, use a 5-quart Dutch oven or ovenproof pot with a tight-fitting lid; add 2 cups water. Cover; bake until chicken is fork-tender, about 2 hours. Proceed with step 2.

Do you have any slow cooker recipes? Share the below!

You Know You're Pregnant When...

Pregnancy is different for everyone. Some moms-to-be can't eat for the first three months, others can't eat enough french toast (who, me?). Some don't gain an ounce except for their belly, others need to be airlifted out of bed to make it to work. Some give 7th grade boys a run for their money in the zit department, others have gorgeous, glowing skin for nine straight months. But all women surely experience these 10 things:

You Know You're Pregnant When....

1. You literally cry tears of joy at the sight of an Outlook invitation for a co-workers b-day celebration in a cubicle. Because A) Everything makes you cry B) You love dessert more than your husband these days. C) Cupcakes?!?!? Ice cream? doughnuts? Happy birthday. Now get out of my way.

2. Happy hour is just "hour" when you can't partake in the boozing. Whoever invented the word mocktail is a jerk. Sucktail is more like it. And bartender, putting an umbrella in my seltzer does not make this experience more festive.

3. When people say, "WOW you got big!", you'll kindly smile and nod while envisioning punching them in the face. When people tell you about a friend of a friend that gave birth in a car, you'll actually punch them in the face.

4. Supermarket cashiers ask you more personal questions about your pregnancy than your best friends.

5. Your hubby will buy you anything you can tie back to the upcoming needs of the baby. "Yes, honey this Rebecca Minkoff clutch is a burp cloth holder."

6. You bring your lunch to work in a tall kitchen garbage bag, not a lunch bag.

7. Prenatal yoga is truly awesome, except when the teacher makes you do awkward partner stretches. Not cool, lady... I just want to tone what's left of my core, not straddle a stranger.  

8. You'll ask your doctor all sorts of crazy questions, like if getting a pedicure can induce labor because you read an article that claims it may. And she'll say, "If that was true, we'd just hire a bunch of manicurists instead of giving women pitocin." Or, you may ask if you need to change your usual skin care products, in which she responds, "Not unless you're planning on eating them."

9. That XXL t-shirt from 11th grade basketball is your new best friend and you really wish you could just wear it to work. Everyday.

10. "Is this normal?" are the three most commonly used words in your vocabulary. Get used to it, sister.