I Do ... Until the Cameras Stop Rolling

Anyone who wasted 4 hours of their life watching Kim's Fairy Tale Wedding knew before the first commercial break that their marriage was doomed. Kim and Kris suffered from serious irreconcilable differences from the get-go: clashes over home decor, Kim's crippling anxiety over small dogs being allowed on her bed, and her distaste for Minnesota. (Unless of course Christian Louboutin decided to start making snow boots ... she wasn't stepping foot in that state.) And don't forget their overwhelming hatred for each other. That played a minor role in the demise too.

Aside from the wedding giving Kris Jenner an excuse to get a face lift  ... there are important life lessons to be learned from Kris and Kim's 72 day marriage.

1. Date longer than five minutes before getting engaged, to allow for plenty of time to discover the weird habits, quirks and dealbreakers of a potential life partner. Or else you may find yourself in a closet with Bruce Jenner, sobbing and snotting uncontrollably, surrounded by cameras.

2. The only reality show you can trust is The Biggest Loser. The scale doesn't lie, people.

3. If you're sitting at different tables at your rehearsal dinner ... no amount of Vera Wang dresses can solve your relationship problems.

4. When shit hits the fan, at the very least, you can launch a new perfume line: Kashing In, the exotic scent of greed with delicate hints of self-tanner. A new fragrance by Kim Kardashian.

Obviously this marriage was simply a money-making scheme. But all too often, celebrities like Kim Kardashian make marriage seem like a joke, an excuse to throw a lavish party. And once the guests go home, if you don't want to be married anymore, then it's just a break-up with annoying paperwork. But divorce isn't glamorous for real people. It's heartbreaking for everyone involved. So, hopefully the next time Kim Kardashian needs a co-star for her reality show, she'll learn a lesson and just cast him, not marry him.

L.O.V.E.

One of my BFFs, Franny got married a few weeks ago in Santa Monica. From the 'I dos' to the very last song (in which she was on the stage, belting it out with the band), every detail was perfect. This cocktail hour floral display was full of heart, and I had to share! The gorgeous bride had a fab idea to incorporate these sweet mugs from Anthropologie into the floral design ... and voila!

L.O.V.E.

 

Little details go a long way when it comes to making your wedding extra special. What have you done to add one of a kind touches to your big day?  

Pumpkin Cookies, Marriage & the Meaning of Life According to Siri

This blog is about to get into some pretty serious stuff:

1) Pumpkin Cookies
I made these delicious cookies last year, and they're back in full effect. I've consumed about 16 in the last 24 hours.

I don't feel good.

But if you have self control, they're amazing and taste like Fall. Here's the recipe from YumSugar.

2). Marriage
Today's my 2-year anniversary. And I've learned a lot about marriage and cohabitation:

1. Men love barbeque sauce. Or maybe just my husband does. I'm not sure how widespread this is. All I know is that I opened a kitchen cabinet the other day and we have 12 bottles. 
2. Friday Night Lights is a show you'll both love. Just keep your unhealthy obsession with Tim Riggins on the DL.
3. If one person cooks, the other must do the dishes.
4. Husbands hate Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
5. Getting flowers is FUN! Check out these beauties I received at work.

3.) The Meaning of Life
My friend Lauren got the new iPhone 4S. She recently introduced us to Siri, the voice activated personal assistant. And let me tell you, Siri is one sassy little biatch. We asked, "What is the meaning of life?" and she replied, ""All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate." It's like she knew it was a table of five wine drinking women that wanted to eat a lot of dessert. Seriously, Siri, you're a jerk. To really stump her, we asked, "How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

She referred us to a nearby carpenter.

Stressing Out Over Yoga?

I started doing Yoga regularly in June. And I'm totally hooked. It's the only workout I actually look forward to. Maybe it's because the end of the class involves laying flat on the mat with a lavender scented eye pillow. Or maybe it's because with each practice, I learn something new, or see a small improvement from the week before. There are tons of mind and body benefits -- which explains why people pack into studios like little Lululemon-wearing sardines.

That's why I was so surprised by this opinion piece in the NYTimes. Maureen Dowd (an avid yogi herself) takes a look at science writer William Broad’s new book, The Science of Yoga: The Myths and the Rewards, which basically claims yoga can make you insane, fat and/or seriously injured. (Click on that link, it's kinda crazy.)

Umm, what?

There's no way those arm-toning chatarungas are making me fat.  I will bench press this science writer and show him what's up.

Regardless of what's in this book, I'm not going to stress out about the alleged downside of yoga. With any exercise, you can be at risk for injury. And let's face it, I'm not exactly doing one-handed headstands while in the splits. Yoga helps me take a breather (literally) from the stress of everyday life for a bit, and just focus on the "now". It's a great, challenging workout, that's given me a new appreciation for incense and Ani diFranco music. And it's something I've been able to stick to ... unlike fitness fads that come and go.

Do you believe the hype from this book?

Mini Cupcakes and French Fry Lip Balm

I'm working on a bunch of holiday gift guides for WEtv.com, and in my quest to help people find the perfect gifts ... I found the most perfect gift for myself. A mini cupcake maker. For just $38, it's going to be the Easy Bake Oven I never had.

As they say in the product description:
"Add icing, sprinkles and dreams are coming true..." 

Until tonight, I didn't know I had repressed dreams of owning the world's fastest electric mini cupcake maker. But life's full of surprises. 

Check out Fredflare.com for all sorts of fun gift ideas -- like french fry flavored lip balm and a Nice Jewish Guys 2012 wall calendar. Items you truly cannot live one more day without.