Does This Email Make Me Look Fat?

The other night I was out to dinner with some of my friends. As to be expected, we spent most of the night analyzing (what women do best) ... life, guys, marriage, dating, jobs, and unfortunately for all parties involved - the naked guy that didn't realize there was a rooftop restaurant across the street from his wide open window. But that's neither here nor there. Point is, girls nights are a must for many reasons ... especially to reap the benefits of the sincerest form of flattery, the BFF confidence boost. Most guys will never gush about your outfit and compliment your new bangs in the same way your friends will.

But, even though you've been told your skinny jeans have never looked better, the most confident, take-charge gal can't help but feel totally insecure when faced with the preliminary email chain that goes along with dating a new guy. I remember this very unfondly, actually. One of the many perks of marriage, aside from living with someone who agrees to watch The City with me, is that I no longer have the anguish that comes along with said email chain. Because these emails are when you prove how smart, witty, adorable, charming and funny you are ... one bad typo, and it's all downhill, sister.

Once you hit send, you end up spending the bulk of your day in a cold sweat hitting refresh on the "inbox" link in Outlook, waiting for a reply. You may even venture into Crazy Town (population 1), and call the IT guy at work to see if the server is down. And the longer time goes by with no reply, the more you doubt your jokes. They must have read as creepy, not cute. Does he think you love dogs too much??? Why on earth did you tell him your grandma makes tiny outfits for troll dolls?? And clearly you should never have used so many emoticons. That has to be why he's not writing back. The wink! ;) It was just too much!)

Point is, emailing a new dude makes you feel like you're out in public wearing a shirt that's 2 sizes too small. Totally exposed. And kinda pudgy. But, take it from someone that doubted many emails (and who does in fact have a wonderful grandma that makes tiny outfits for troll dolls) ... there's definitely someone out there who will get excited when your name shows up in their inbox ... emoticons and all.